So what do you do when you can’t write?

I don’t know if this is writer’s block or what. But, for the longest time,  I haven’t been able to write. In the past, writer’s block has felt different. It felt like a stumbling block. It has never felt permanent – like it does right now.

I guess,  this is why I’ve practically abandoned this blog. I really want to start taking this blog seriously. So, I keep telling myself to write more, because, eventually, I’m going to write something people want to read. I’m just afraid I’m never going to get there -this is a huge fear of mine. I keep giving into the fear by not writing.

I know I created this blog to write about people of color in the media and, at the moment, I’m not. However, I am a woman of color (even if I’m not a novelist). I write; at least, I did. I wonder if I will be able to get there again. I haven’t been reading much either. I’ve been in a  really bad reading slump.

Honestly, I think it has to do with my favorite writer passing away. Ever since she left this earth, I haven’t been able to write or read much.

I want to change that.
I’m really going to start writing.
This time it will be different.

This was what I always say….

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Update:

lookaround138 (1)Hello all (x) number of you,

Thank you for following my tiny little blog. Especially, those of you who put up with me constantly changing blogs. I am happier with Media in Color; I feel like this blog has a purpose.

Anyway, January was a hard month. I guess, I didn’t realize I needed time to mourn Michele’s passing. I know, I followed some of you because of her.

Currently, I am a contributing writer for theculturetrip.com. I’ll post the link to my articles as I publish them. But, I’m still going to publish original pieces for tumblr/mediaincolor.com

I don’t know why you all chose to follow me or if any of you will read this, but thank you for the support. Seriously, it means a lot.

In Loving Memory of Michele Serros

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In 2007, I moved back home from college in the middle of the semester because my mom had cancer. At the same time, I was losing “friends” and some of them also made fun of me for being too “white washed.” This was a hard time for me, because I felt like I was losing everything, my friends, my mother, my identity.  I never felt so alone before. During this time, I did what I always do. I tried to find solace at a bookstore. While I was there, I did something that was radical for my personality at the time; I went to the “Hispanic literature” section. That’s when I saw a title that stuck out to me: Chicana Falsa. I was in the middle of the bookstore laughing, and looking around to make sure no one was looking. I had this gut feeling, if I walked out of that bookstore without that book I was going to regret it. So I bought the book, and it became the book that changed my life for the better. Michele Serros helped me piece together the broken pieces of my identity. Chicana Falsa became my best friend, when I barely had any friends. I can’t imagine any other book doing what this book did for me.

I found her on myspace and contacted her. I told her I found her book, and I couldn’t wait to one day meet her at one of her book signings. She responded jokingly: Why wait? I’ll see you at your next family barbeque (not exactly but something along those lines). We communicated every now and again, from my initial message to her. Then in 2010, I wrote her a letter explaining why her book meant so much to me, and asked her to come speak at my school. She agreed. A few days before she came to my school, she tried to prank call me. She called my phone saying I had an overdue ticket for an expired license plate tag.  However, the prank failed because I didn’t have a car. We laughed about it and talked for a few minutes.  Then a few days later, she came to my school. I wore a green jacket, which reminded her of Lindsay Weir from Freaks and Geeks. So she nicknamed me Lindsay. I wasn’t Cristina anymore. I was Lindsay. She treated me like we had been best friends for years, even though it was our first meeting.

Honestly, I can’t articulate everything I want to say about her in a few measly  lines. This isn’t the first time I have tried to write something up about her, and post it publicly. My messy online scribbles will never capture the amazing person she was and howc much her books meant to me…how much SHE meat to me. For now, all I can do is hope she is resting in peace and power.

I want to wrap this up with two links: one to her facebook page and the other to her giveforward campaign. Please, if you can donate to help Michele Serro’s family.

I’d also like to end with this video:

I haven’t stopped crying, since I found out she passed away. I didn’t bother editing this. I’m sure there are a ton of grammar mistakes here, but I really don’t care.

I’ve always done my best to respect Michele’s wishes. This is why I am using the photograph her husband posted on facebook. In the past, she asked me to keep the photos I have take with her for my own personal collection. Thus, I am not posting them.

I’m lucky I can talk to my favorite writer, whenever I want.

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How many people are lucky enough to say their favorite writer gave them a nickname?

I don’t know, but I’m one of them.

The first time we met I wore a green jacket. According to Michele Serros,  it looked like the one Linsay Weir had on Freaks and Geeks. I took it as a compliment, because I love Freaks and Geeks. Linsay Weir is cool, but Michele Serros is cooler. When Serros gives you a nickname, you take it. If she wants to call me butt face, I’d smile happily.

CLICK HERE CLICK HERE!! 😀

Read her latest article, entitled “An Unexpected Heirloom” on Huffingtonpost now!.

WWW Wednesdays

Here’s my first attempt participating in www Wednesdays. I found this from bibliosa, but shouldbereading   created this.

What are you currently reading? 

Quiet:The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking

I’ve had Quiet sitting in my Kindle for a while. It came up in conversation the other day. So I thought, it’s about time I finally pick this up and give it a try. I’m only two chapters in, but so far I like it.

Amor y Cohetes

I’ve been saving this book for a time I was desperate to read a graphic novel. I am so desperate. Thus, I picked it up. I’m taking my sweet time with this one, because I love the artists and writers. I know I’m going to love this one. 😀

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What did you recently finish reading?

It’s been awhile. In order to get myself out of a reading slump, I did some light reading. I read: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. It’s a cute book that defines all the beasts in the Harry Potter world, and includes notes from Harry and friends.

What do you want to read next?

Honestly, I don’t know. What I do know is that I plan to go out of my way and read from more authors of color. In fact, I’m planning on making a post about that soon.  For now, I’ll leave a  mini list of authors of color whose books I own, but haven’t read yet.

How the Garcia Girls Lost Their Accents By Julia Alvarez

Possessing the Secret of Joy by Alice Walker

Assata: An Autobiography

Push by Sapphire

Sister, Sister by Eric Jerome Dickey

Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez